Saturday, July 13, 2013

Now With Gifs! Part Two

After watching a few fluffy kitten videos I feel better now and can continue. The rest of these are just head-shakingly silly.

Contender Number 5:

Sugar momma needed - 30

I'm bored and like to meet new people no weirdos be somewhat normal maybe chat first then maybe meet for a drink it would be nice to have someone take care of me for a while.

emotion gifs photo: • • • pause.gif

Kinda makes you wonder what world this guy is living in. I can almost see the thought process; women get to have sugar daddies, women get to sit on their asses while their husbands work all day, women get to be taken care why can't I? Because life is totally just like that.

facepalm gif photo:  facepalm.gif

Contender Number 6:

Forbidden Fruit - 61

Looking for that woman that wants to break the rule and try the forbidden fruit of a married man. I am real and serious. Lets meet and talk. I know your out there and were hoping for the right discreet gentleman. Here I am. Hysterical Laugh photo:  tumblr_ln51r7HsQm1qcccm2.gif

*deep breath, deeeep breath* Honestly, who on earth advertises for adultery on Craigslist? (Actually a good majority of the personal ads are for men looking to cheat on their spouses. Is this regional? Something in the water? Just how humanity is now?)This cannot end well. Ahh, another chunk of my faith for humanity chipped away.

Contender Number 7:

Hi, my name is Casper and I don't know what to write anymore? One reason is because first, you women don't want a man with an education....? Don't say you do I have 3 college degrees and it freaks you out. Second, you don't want a man who can cook, has a job and a car.....? Again you don't....I'm a chef have a culinary arts degree, a great job and a 4 wheel drive jeep. It's all about looks and height again IT IS and im not being biased its a mathematical fact!!!!!! I understand I also look for certain qualities but really??? this is Craigslist not Tall dark and handsome.com anyway enough ranting just trying to make a point, yes I'm not the best looking or tallest guy but your passing up somebody with integrity, loyalty, kindness, passion, respect, love, creativeness and intelligence.

disgusted gif photo:  tumblr_m8xdcbQHG21rn3thf_zps9afc0a85.gif

I wonder if this guy realizes that maaaybbeee it isn't his 3 degrees, culinary genius, awesome job-ness that is pushing women away. Starting your ad with 'you women' automatically FAILS you. Dude is riding the line of making women into alien creatures no sane man can understand. Not to mention the subtle vibe of pissed off-ness and the you-owe-me-ness is a little offputting.

exasperated photo: exasperated exasperated.gif

aaaaand I'm done. My advice? Don't date on Craigslist. My second piece of advice? Go spend a nice loooong visit with Doctor Nerdlove

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Now with gifs!

Generally I don't do this but today is a GOLDMINE for Craigslist personal ads. Honestly, Craigslist is like the Youtube of advertisement; rife with stupidity, sexism, racism and all the worse behaviors of humanity and white/male privilege of those idiots who don't think before they spew garbage from their keyboards. Let's explore these behaviors - with gifs!

(Edited into two parts because it became too long. part two will be along shortly)

Contender Number 1

Women are stupid - 25

You're all stupid, petty, superficial and disgusting creatures. And I hate you. but obviously since I'm a pathetic human waste of space, I still have the desire to be involved with other filthy humans romantically and otherwise. So I'm looking for a girl who isn't as dumb as people normally are, preferably slightly less petty and superficial also. You should know how to read books (Twilight and 50 shades don't count as books you morons), enjoy good movies (Twilight and anything directed by Michael Bay don't qualify), and know music that isn't played on top 40 pop stations. I know, I'm asking for a lot. Oh and no super skinny girls. Eat something you idiots and quit saying you're fat.

Mmmmm, yes - who WOULDN'T answer such a sumptuously spiteful and hatefilled plea for human contact? We have a full bingo sheet here; hate for women, hate for women's bodies with an extra heaping of jugement because y'know, women don't get judged enough for their looks - skinny or not, derision of women's literature (even if I DO hate Twilight it's still a legitimate book and liking it doesn't make you stupid or horrible. Just tasteless) AND you have to 'prove' yourself worthy by..what- reciting Shakespeare? Somehow I doubt this man, boychild, puerile puss-filled bag o' hate would know culture if it bit him in the ass.

See, the Doctor is not amused.

Contender Number 2:

NEEDING LOVE AND AFFECTION OR I WILL TURN INTO A FAIRY - 70

IN FEAR OF LATENT HOMOSEXUALALITY COMING OUT.... I AM TURNING INTO A FAIRY CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE....HURRY....I NEED A WOMAN TO MAKE ME A MAN OR ELSE...HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING YET... *********** SAVE ME

Is it weird that I took this literally and had the image of someone turning into Tinkerbell? Or Sailor Moon. That works too

Then I remembered 'fairy' was a popular term for 'gay' back in the what, 70's? Probably before that too. Old dude weiner needs love too.

Contender Number 3:

Disheartening Goodbye

I know not why all that has happened between us unfolded. . .Every moment since our bond was ripped apart my heart has been sunk to depths lower than I have ever known. It seems like it is so easy for you to let me go. . .I literally have had to force myself to try not to think of you, but my heart refuses to oblige and constantly transports me to how safe I once felt with you, and how special you became to me. You say that I didn't care about you, but my manifest pain is simply an expression of how heart broken I am, for I know not how to contain it. Every night has been a struggle to rest, and when I finally do, I dream that you would be there to catch me when I woke from this nightmare, but instead I am in a constant free fall, consumed in despair and loneliness. . .the nightmare continues and I am literally sick. I never cared about the money, all I wanted was you, I wanted you to have my back, I felt so honored to call you my girl, I wanted to be your man. Even though I feel in my heart at this point that you do not care about me, and have already moved on, please just tell me that you never loved me, and I will no longer reach out to you? With no reason at this point to say what isn't meant, I truly do still love you, my beautiful stubborn girl lol. For I do understand your pain and solitude, and why it is so hard for you to trust. I especially understand why you have felt alone for much of life, for I also never have truly felt I had anywhere to rest my head and heart in this world. Whatever it is that I have done that caused you so much pain, I truly apologize and I humbly just ask that you forgive me? If you have already said your goodbyes, at least allow me the chance to hear your voice once more to say mine. . .. . ..

*Snort*Whaatziit? huh? Sorry - soporific gushing, bathetic poetry on the internets put me to sleep. Let us cry a single tear for the manpain that vomited this on a public forum.

Contender Number 4:

33yo looking for 19-25

Hello, I'm 33, single dad, dated all ages through life, found that younger women are just more energetic and not so self centered or prudes. If you're in the 19-24 age range ad want a mature man in your life. Not looking for anything serious to the affects of marriage. Just want to enjoy life and have fun living life. As far as activities , I'm into shooting, going tubing on the river. Road trips and catching a ball game. If you decide to reply, change the subject to your favorite sports team or I won't even open your email

I really don't know if 33 and trolling for barely legal meat constitutes as 'a mature man'. 'Gross' yes. 'Predatory' check. 'Morally dubious' certainly.

The reason why older men trolling for 21 and under women will ALWAYS squick me the hell out is because it suggests they are looking for someone inexperienced and through that inexperience are willing to put up with shit that any grown and experienced woman would NOT put up with. What exactly are you expecting at that age? They aren't even out of college, they don't know much about the world or sex, or relationships and that makes them easier to prey on - so EW whenever I hear 'barely legal'.

Can we get a translation for this asshole?

'found that younger women are just more energetic and not so celf-centered or prudes' becomes 'I want someone to do all the work and not complain when I coerce them into kinky shit they don't really want to do but do it anyway because they're too young and inexperienced to know that they can say 'no''

'shooting, road trips and catching a ball game' becomes 'hey sweetheart, cook some grub for me and the fellas while I sit on my ass in front of the tv and stratch my balls'

and remember he won't even consideryou unless you put your favorite sports team in the header!

Ugh, seriously, just GTFO

That's about all I can muster to write about today. Amusing as these ads may be they are a symptom of things that are seriously wrong with society.

Sunday, July 07, 2013

feel my wrath

Dear Internet:

LOOSE - adjective, loos·er, loos·est, adverb, verb, loosed, loos·ing.

1. free or released from fastening or attachment: a loose end.

2. free from anything that binds or restrains; unfettered: loose cats prowling around in alleyways at night.

3. uncombined, as a chemical element.

4. not bound together: to wear one's hair loose.

5. not put up in a package or other container: loose mushrooms.

LOSE - verb, lost, los·ing.

(used with object) 1. to come to be without (something in one's possession or care), through accident, theft, etc., so that there is little or no prospect of recovery: I'm sure I've merely misplaced my hat, not lost it.

2. to fail inadvertently to retain (something) in such a way that it cannot be immediately recovered: I just lost a dime under this sofa.

3. to suffer the deprivation of: to lose one's job; to lose one's life.

4. to be bereaved of by death: to lose a sister.

5. to fail to keep, preserve, or maintain: to lose one's balance; to lose one's figure.

PLEASE LEARN THE DIFFERENCE and stop committing a major pet peeve of mine.

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Regards, Megan

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Video Post

On the line of strange yet beautiful music videos here's one from Gotye 'Hearts a Mess':

I ran across this a year or so ago and it stuck with me how odd and yet so awesome it is.

Monday, July 01, 2013

Since we're posting about super cute things...

I'm sure I've posted about this before but it's worth posting about again. 64 Colors is a group of artists who do fantastic, strange, beautiful and super cute things. You may have seen their merchandise in some stores; they have a line of popular (and adorable, I have two) tote bags, paper lamps, ect. ect. I always look forward to what they come up with next.